I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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