coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
