wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
