Pants 0. Shit 1.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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