there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she pinky promised me she was 18
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
