the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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