Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
