The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
