this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
