How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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