I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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