She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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