She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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