she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
