Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
