Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
