Sponge bath it is.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
