new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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