Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
