return my video game
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
