That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
