mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I need help removing her.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
