is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
