I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
