Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
