am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
