you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
