Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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