First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Randomize
