please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
