Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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