Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
