Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
