just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
