Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
