You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I want a musical about memes.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
