3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
organizing the empties. That sober.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How does it feel to date your dad?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
