Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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