If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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