If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
