so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
