Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
