is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
