I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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