Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
