So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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