i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
