we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
