another moral hangover. fuck.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
