put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
