I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
